Maintaining Winning Attitudes
I think that we have probably all heard the phrase “Attitude is Everything.” I agree that the attitude we have towards a thing or event or person or job and so on, will have a direct impact on how we behave towards that situation. And it’s a given, that our behavior; how we act, will attract a response equal to or more than equal to, the attitude that we project towards it.
Even the Law of Sowing and Reaping says that “You get back, what you put out, in increasing amounts.”
In day to day terms, If we act warmly towards people, they are likely to show us warmth and hospitality in return. Where as, if we act with contempt towards other people, they may respond with distrust and avoidance.
If we act in an uncommitted wishy washy way, we may find that other people will be reluctant to commit to us, or even move away from working with us, because their perception might be, that we are unreliable and directionless.
However if we were to act decisively, respectfully and resourcefully, then generally others will be resourceful and gravitate towards working and supporting us, because they will be attracted to our leadership.
This may sound a little linear however we all know that one thing leads to another. The question is, where is our attitude leading us to? And is that where we want to end up?
How did I end up like this?
Our attitudes are a reflection of the bundles of beliefs that we have around a certain thing.
In Laymen’s terms; if we “Like" or “Dislike” a thing, that will come out in our attitude towards it.
Can attitudes be changed?
Absolutely, and with the right trigger, almost instantly.
I remember one time when my son was 16. I was doing typical parent stuff, like trying to get him to tidy his room. However my considerable efforts were being met with pleas of “Not Fair” & “It’s my room I should be able to have it, how I please” Naturally with just the right amount of apathy and lethargic Y Generation teenage boy grunting. You get the picture right.
However I was amazed a few minutes later, when his new and very attractive girlfriend rang to say that she was coming over to visit him. He was instantly a Man Transformed. From Clark Kent to Superman in 10 seconds flat. He became a domestic whirlwind, trying to get his “Pad” looking just right to impress his new Love. It was nothing short of inspiring.
Let me summarize where we are up to so far; our “behaviors” are a reflection of our “attitudes” and they are a descendant of our “beliefs.”
Let’s go a step further; our beliefs are made up of components.
These components are “meanings” and “rules.”
By “meanings” I mean if we had a belief that said “I am confident” that might “mean” that I must dress a certain way, I walk a certain way, I speak a certain way and I feel a certain way.
By “rules” I mean that I might expect certain things to happen to satisfy “being confident.” For example; I might expect to be treated with respect, I might expect to achieve certain things.
All of which needs to be satisfied and are attached to “I am Confident.”
If the “meanings and rules” attached to a belief are un useful and unreasonable, they will quickly develop into negative attitudes, behaviors and outcomes.
If the beliefs have useful and reasonable “meanings and rules” attached to them; that will develop into positive attitudes, actions and results.
Even the fabled Emerald Tablet, made famous by the movie The Secret, says “As within, so without.”
The Law of Attraction says, “We attract into our lives, the people events and circumstances that are in harmony with what we think about the most.”
And another Universal Law says “we feel good or positive about ourselves to the degree to which we feel we are in control of our own destiny. And we feel negative about ourselves to the degree to which we feel, we are not.”
But wait there’s more. Every belief, every meaning and every rule is made up of smaller components.
I call them “Elements” because they are as basic to the structure of a belief as the Chemical Periodic Table is to the structure of everything around us.
For example, one of the smallest components of a powerful raging river is the individual H2O molecules that make it up.
So when you think of a belief; “I am X”, lets say “I am Old.” The elements of that belief will be the pictures, sounds, self talk and feelings that would be in your mind, which make up that belief.
Then, if we go down to the electrons and particles that make up the elements, we would find even more interesting things.
For example; If we just explored the pictures related to “I am Old” you might notice if, what you saw in your mind was:
Fuzzy or Focused, moving or still, colour or Black and white, 3 Dimensional or flat like a photo.
These are the raw materials that our attitudes are made of.
This is what everyone does, naturally instantly and largely automatically, all of the time. We can not, not do this. It’s how we are built.
However we can learn how to take advantage of it, control it and direct it. And in the process, we can absolutely pick and maintain winning attitudes at will.
David Martin
Performance Coach
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